As I promised in last week’s article on weddings, I have fifteen stories from pastors about funerals.
For the most part, these stories are repeated only with minor changes. The essence of the stories is unchanged.
Like the stories of weddings, there were so many great submissions of funeral stories. I probably need more posts of this ilk in the future.
1. The pastor was preaching on the resurrection during the funeral when Siri on someone’s iPhone began to speak, “I’m sorry; I don’t understand what you just said.”
2. Three different pastors told us they fell in the grave.
3. Three different widows jumped in the grave.
4. The deceased’s dog died shortly after the deceased died. The family put the dead animal in the casket with her.
5. The family released a dove at the end of the funeral. A hawk was waiting. You know the rest of the story.
6. One lady gave a testimony at her deceased pastor’s funeral: “Having Jim as my pastor was like being in a love affair.”
7. The pastor was interrupted during the funeral and asked to adjust the deceased in the casket because she did not look perky.
8. The best friend of the deceased gave a eulogy sharing how he and the now deceased picked up women.
9. During the viewing of the deceased, a song was on continuous loop: “How Much Is That Doggy in the Window?”
10. The pastor was asked to pose with the urn of ashes for photos after the funeral.
11. The funeral home showed up with the wrong body.
12. This funeral had two ambulances: one to pick up a man having a heart attack; and the other to get a woman in labor.
13. There were two funerals close together. They finished at the same time. One funeral released doves. The other funeral had a salute with several guns. There were many dead doves.
14. The widow began shouting and praying for her husband to rise from the dead.
15. An Elvis impersonator was one of the key speakers.
I would wonder if some of these pastors were stretching the truth if I had not been in some similar situations at funerals. Life in the ministry is never dull.
Originally posted at thomrainer.com.